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work.

aim. run. for. the. hills.

tonight you got to give me any number of games.

I'm gonna give you games.

enjoy.

And to be honest, I did'nt think anyone would
book you.

Bah.

zzz.
one pill to make you sleep.
one pill to make you dream.
one pill to stop you from ever waking.

It's activation time. To much loafi'n, not
enough terror.

next week:

Davor Radic and Johan Erik Hellqvist Exibithion
on Gothenburg Trams.

Two DJ-gigs.

And creation of guerilla-painting for public
un-authorized show.

2009. Here we go. Fuck you.

Damn the cold .................................

Damn the swedish winter .......................

Damn the damned ...............................

Night always seem longer. Always is longer. The
Truth is never told. Is Never spoken. What can
we do? We can never know.

How do I know? I can never know.

I've started to dream again. Not like dreaming
in dreaming of stuff or a better future. But
dreaming as in dreaming every other night.

Usually I dont dream much at all. Maybe once a
month or so, but recently it has been much more
frequent. And It's always the same enviroments,
different dreams but the same enviroments.

I've been dreaming about these enviroments since
I was a child.

It's always enviroments that have a basis in
reality, but are constructed in the exact same
way in my mind. I dont put much faith in dreams
though, but it feels safe to always return to
the same locations in the dreams.

Is this as grown up as we ever get?
I think the heart remains a child.

In Wien sitzen wir in ein Nachtkafé.
Vinyl, oh it makes my heart shake.

When you got a ton of new hardware, new
listening gear and a mobile working studio with
great synthesizers. Life seems a little bit
easier than before. I'm gonna make magic.

I've realized that I managed all my goals on my
to-do-list for 2008. It's great. That's why I'm
now working on an even more sophisticated list.

More exibithions, more crazy stuff and bigger
goals. Of course, as we all know 2009 is going
to be the beginning of the collapse of the
western civilization as we know it. So let's
cherish it. Let's make the most of our
knowledge, let's save internet and let us be
the pimple up societys but, to make us emerge
in the bright new world order that is about to
come. All hail our new Asian kings.

Everything is in a constant state of flux. Life
seems colourful but in new and different ways,

and it's mostly different shades of brown, gray
and black. If you only knew how many different
shades of brownish-green there can be.

It seems that you can find the colours of the
mind if you look out the window at the lack of
snow. It's all a blur. And a journey, that one
should endorse a little bit more than one does
usually do. Good advice always end up with the
same words. We only have one life. One journey.
-make the best of it or be destroyed.

I'm on the path to total destruction.

And tomorrow I'm meeting a doomed man that I
love (more immanently doomed than you and me).
Not many things are fair. I've said it before.

THERE IS NO FAIRNESS IN LIFE ACT.

What matters when? It has been a couple of
wonderful days. weeks. yeah. weeks.............

drugs, friends, wine... you name it. it's been
amazing.

The friends have been best though. Old and new.

Now..

I'm in a state of constant insomnia. Cant, or
dont really want to sleep. I feel like
travelling. painting. writing. being wierd and
all bummed out at different places. Not knowing
where the next train leads or whatever will put
a nail in the coffin. I'm tired. Let's stop.

PRESS GAY ON TAPE..............................

NOW! DUCK AND TURN! KICK AND POSE! TURN AND K.!

So. The economical crisis is finally catching
up to us? Or is it? ... I've since long been in
total denial about this crisis. What can I say?
I dont really belive in money being throuble. I
think it's a beautiful thing and sort of the
21st century idea of a family.

Well... If you see me in a month dont be
surprised if I've eaten. Oh. I mean of course
if I have a more substantial wealth than now
at least.

WE'RE COMING FOR YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.
... And to all of you without dreams, living
the 20st century at
important for everyday life and I usually have
a rather pragmatic view towards the whole
concept. Either you have money or you dont, but
if you dont you can always get some. There's
always work to be found if you can find a way
to develop and use your talents. Anywho... It's
true that I sometimes worry about economical
issues, but they somehow always seem to solve
themselves. I've lived for, what-now 27 years
as far as I know and I dont really make a habit
of keeping a regular job... But I seem to get
by just fine.

Now to the issue at hand. It's time to raise
some money again. A good friend of mine is in
risk of loosing his job and it's time to hit
the big drum. Let's do something unexpected.
Our "gang" of friends has always taken care of
each other and I f ind great comfort in that
fact. No one really seem to care about the
cash-issue, and whoever is rich for the moment
always share if someone else is in tboring family dream. Fuck you.
I hate you. You do bad things to our world.
It's already over populated.

Sting like a butterpack, bite like a pea. Damn.
I'd rather be strangling a trashcan, wrestling
an elephant and fuck'n an oliphant.

I actually have no freak'n clue what an
oliphant is, but if someone does, please
enlighten me.

The dark is burning, bla bla bla, boring stuff,
goth crutches and cheezy cheezdoodles. Ever
noticed how reality seems to pass you sometime?

Every 6 or 12 months or so I leave reality,
enter a coocoon of ... well actually I have no
idea what it is made of but who the fuck cares?
Anyway. I'm hardly contactable, I rarely give a
fuck about anything that is not my special
interests and if you dont agree you're in my
way you should just be removed.

It's a nice little sociopath / psyocpath thing
I've got going. It's not easy to cope with for
anyone else. Actually it's quite impossible. I
just dont want to be disturbed. And I want to
spread my anger around. Well. Fuck ya all. I'm
going to bed.

The little cat-fucker ate my harddrive. It's
hard for a small feeline like a cat to eat
something that's 2.5 inches wide, but somehow
the little fucker managed to. flexable. My heart is
a big empty hole. I dont know if i ever will be
happy again and I dont think I ever felt so sad
and dark.

I wish i was ok. But Iam not.

deep blue like tv screens, shining gold around
your core. but you're unpure.

It feels like I'm a volcano. Sleepless. Abou

So, now little kitty-fuck will never see the
tunnel of kitty-light and go to kitty fuck'n
heaven. But really, who cares? I do not, of
course belive in heaven or hell. I'm an
enlightend man who belive in science. What do
you take this for? the stupid ages? Although
sometimes you wonder...

While operating, making the first inscision
with a rusty scalpel, full of virus, bacteria
and other `viscious beeings who never before
seen the light... well. It makes you think
does'nt it? So please just dissect everything,
make it small. Cut it, saw it into pieces and
watch it bleed, the last dying breaths, and
please, do pray to your god of choice that he
makes it.

Belief kills

How do you catch the proper spirit of things?
Right now, I have no spirit, no l ife and.
Just plain nothing.

Iam broken. Unfixable. Unt
to erupt. I'm trying to hold back but I'm about
to blow. Like sweat, sipperin out of my eyes.
But sweat doesn't do that. But you knew that,
right?

In the end we all die.

Evolution breeds dorsal fin.

Experience breeds success.

Development breeds confidence.

der_club_mix_-_der_club_mix(der_club_mix).mp3

Sometimes you just loose perspective.
Everything in life turns totally gray. Nothing
matters. There are glimses of light in the
darkness. But they're few, to few perhaps. The
world feels cold, a dark and scary place.

And yet, there is so much to learn, so much to
see and so much to feel. Many of the choices we
make in life are wrong. But dont regret them,
try to learn instead. Hell, I am a drawling
baboon. There is no "fairness in life" act and
you're responsible for your own choices.So when
something happens that you cant do anything
about? Who is responsible then? When no matter
what choice _you_ make it still will end up in
a way you DONT want it to. Damn. again. Curse
this world and all it's inhabitants. Curse
freedom, curse choices. Curse everything,
because nothing really matters. In the end we
all die. There are no reruns.

I walk a thin, thin, line. There's very
few things in this world that keep me sane
right now. Maybe the ability to focus on
something helps out. From time to time that is.

To focus on an addiction, to focus on training,
to focus on a job... To focus on something. But
when I loose that... well, Iam scared of that
day. It feels like my feet are about to slip.
One little mistake, and swisch! away I go.
Iam scared.

I keep my head above the surface, trying to
breathe, looking for land.

Why am I so scared? Why are you so scared?
How come we end up here? Or well, we hav'nt
ended anywhere actually. We're still in the
works so to speak.

So how bitter and cynical can a human beeing
be? Or, to be more precise how bitter and
cynical can I be? This will be a wallowing in
self pity and I reserve myself the right to
be a self centered asshole on my own
introverted page.

Stand on the cliff, take the step, poff...Not
splash 'cause that would be from a real
cliff. This is just an imaginary cliff, theng of this
text I lied. This is not only about me. About
my own self-pity. This is also about you.

Do you feel the same? Are you scared for the
same reason? Or do you have your own? If you
do, I think Iam scared for the wrong reason.
DAMN. Again... I did'nt ever wanna trust
another human being again.

A person (read: me) should be strong. Not
need an
one of all the dreams you ever had. Of all
the obstacles you ever conquered. Of all the
loves you ever loved. Of all the fears you
ever had.

Fear. Think of it. Taste the word. Feel it in
your mouth. Feeeaaarr. When was the last time
you where really scared? Was it one, five or
ten years ago? Or just a couple of days?

I've been constantly scared. For the last 20
years or so. I've been Scared of different
things, but all the same, scared shitless,
every single freak'n day. (With the exeption
of a few lucky days when I was to
screwed up to even notice). And all of a
sudden someone understands that. Maybe not
thoroughly. I seriously doubt a person can
fully understand another. But it surely
feels like it from time to time. And where
does that lead? The irony of it is of course
that it leads to freak'n-fuck'n fear. DAMN.

And of course, I In the beginni'nt the world constructed
wrong if that is the case? 'cause Iam rather
sure that there's nothing left after this.
But of course, maybe God is up there. Playing
a game of diabolic chess with us. Using
devilish and hellish tricks and action-cards
to scew and fuck up our lives. If, and I say
IF God exists he's surely the real satan.
Using billions of lives for his own personal
war. yone. DAMN. What's the use of crying
alone?

To make plans. To fullfill plans. To live.
To feel.

Into my mind, crawling like maggots. like the
smell and taste of a rotting corpse. An
unpleasant, uneasy feeling.

Not knowing, loss of control and total decay
of an emotional display that's about to erupt.
I'd like clear instructions, goals, and a
a steady life. Or would I?

Feeding chaos out of a teaspoon. Into my mouth
in small portions that stack up to a big pile
of, thats right, chaos. Embrace it or loose
it. And if you do. Be doomed. Prepare for a
boring life.

Damn this shit. DAMN it. Give me a reason.
Why is it so hard to find one? How come it's
possible to spend more than 90 years of living
not finding one? Is
worked up and stressed out. To many things
bubbling up, to many things stacking up, to
many things getting out of hand.

In the beginning I was smiling, while dying
inside. Then I was'nt smiling any more. One of
the worst things in life are loss of control.
The drugs where cleansing out of my system.
I was white. A normal state for a normal
human being. But I never conside

How does it feel to be held under the
grasping claw of a great big dictator? If you
aknowledge religion in your everyday life you
know.Someone that tries to guide your opinion,
someone that tries to control what you do,
someone that tries to tie up your feelings
and that wants to control your sex-life. Oh
you ignorant stupid fuckhead. Oh you ignorant
stupid race. Why did you bring this fictional
character to life just to explain your own
fear of the unknown? Is it really worth the
price? Cant you have morality without god?
Cant you just relax sit back and wait for your
doom without going bananas? Poor demented
stupid idiot race.

I thought something I saw something that came
up and bit me in the tail. Something from the
wast depths of the inner mind (which sort of
reaches to the outer limits). I had a rough
past couple of weeks, being all confused,”friends”. Maybe friends is the wrong word,
I'd rather say enemies. Damn those enemies.
Someone that had the proper authorization to
ask did. ”Did you kill someone?”. I wish I
had. I wish it was that simple.

The story will end with me killing someone
though. That's for sure.

I HEAR THE BREATH OF GHOSTS. And off we go,
beware Frared myself
normal. I never felt that living a life of
nine-to-five work was in my field of depth and
perception. I always felt like doing whatever
falls me in. And even though that in this case
it had ment being under the influence and
control of several legal and illegal
substances it still felt like I lost a friend.

Maybe I would'nt have cried if it was'nt for
the fact that the drugs had helped me supress
the angst. The force which drives us to some
extent, angst... A force that from time to
time takes over hand, and you have to find a
way to control it. But if you dont know
yourself... you never knew, because you
supressed... And you start a massive drug
abuse to help with something and then get off
it. Suddenly you might find yourself with a
bunch of memories you forgot you had.
Hello world!

So all of a sudden I had to deal with all
theese memories. All theese long gone
nce and Germany.

I see fear. It's F E A R in the eyes of people
nowdays. Why you ask? There's actually a
simple answer to that question and it's
spelled: FREE NEWSPAPER DELIVERY BOYS.

Whatwhat? Well Here's the deal. On an ordinary
day, about a year ago in our beloved hometown
of Gothenburg you could walk around downtown,
only having to avoid beggars, crazy people,
religous people and so on. But since a few
months there's a new plauge in town. Free
newspapers and the people who deliver them.

You see, we used to have one free newspaper in
town. And all was well. Now we have three
which have started a war between the competing
papers. Everybody wants to give you a freak'n
paper. And even if you take one, there's
always a person waiting around the corner
trying to give you another one, not realizing
you already have it... Or from another paper.
This adds up to more antisocial swedes (WOHO!)
who does everything in their might to avoid
eye contact with strangers and try to look
busy, avoiding any form of interaction with
fellow men from society. Fantastic.

So where does this leave us? Of course in an
even more antisocial, disgusting freaki'n pot
of shit, going faster down the drain then ever
before. Congrats .SE and City.

World hunger solved ..........................

I need an easy friend... And so forth, sung by
Curt Cobain in the early 90s. What better way
to portrait the miserys of a sunday night.

Sundays are like THE Satan of the week. I
mean, sure everybody hates Mondays. But
nothing can really beat that feeling of
dispair and crippling pain that a Sunday
afternoon and night can bring. You know you
have to go to work when you wake up. And you
dont really wanna go to sleep 'cause you know
that. And everybody stays home. That's about
the only positive thing about Sundays. If you
wanna talk to anyone, call them sunday
afternoon. Hey, I bet even fuck'n George Bush
sits at home, staring at whatever shit the TV
pumps him full of (probably something with
Chuck Norris and training gadgets) and takes
a sip of tea. Probably not looking forward to
the upcoming Monday.

You see; Mondays are not t people every fuck'n day to
some extent. Its just diffrent tempratures in
hell. I for one am sick of tired of people
trying to make the world a better place. Iam
sick and tired of the "less fortunate" getting
benefits. Fuck it all. Iam white, I live in a
so called civilized part of the world, Iam
rather okay off with money. Why should my
tax money go to some fuckhead that cant handle
the stress of todays modern society? Why
should my tax money benefit the fuckheads in
the third world that mosltly just overcrowds
this ball of junk we usally call earth?

Bring it on. I say lets get rid of the ones
that disagree. Hardcore style. Lets enslave
thoose who cant resist and lets make this
planet a happy place for the lucky few. Its
definitely better than a

shithole
for
billions.

It's amazing. How much we picked up. We're
one generation. One generation who knows what
c64s are. One generation who goes around
quoting old games. Or maybe... Old? Old? Not
really old... What do you want? Stop poking
me. Iam alive.. and so forth...

Games was not really part of the "scene", but
we are one generation. One generation who
grew up with "Doom". One generation who
experienced the "dawn" of computers, the dawn
of video games... All from the begining of
it. Most of us got to experience internet
from the "start" or at least the first of its
comerical sucess. Some of us, or the ones
right before us where part of the BBS scene.
We are and where the future, but got
hoplessly behind. The next generation got us
by the tail... But then something happned.
Computers turned simple, everyday use got
the upperhand... And now we're back on track.
Or maybe soceity evened it self out. It's
the same way it always used to be. The smart
ones. The ones with brains (i.e mathematics)
still got the upper hand. Programwise. The
rest of us. Well. The ones with the
litterary or maybe the linguistic skills
got somewhat of the upper hand. Still. Media
rules it all. As the evil fuckhead of the
world. Still with the power to control
the masses. Or more then ever so.

So the normal everyday Joe actually got
nothing. No power. Nothing to say. No nothing.
Fuck the blogs. Fuck it all. It's not worth
shit when it all comes down to what the media
decides is important. News or no news. It
does'nt matter.

Keep your shirt on leutenant my friend said.
Actually a phrase stolen from Startrek. But.
Who the fuck cares anyway.

I was pondering the truth when I found myself
in a state of wierdness. A glass of the
ol’mighty red in my left hand, a cigarette in
my other and something that came out of a porn
movie in front of me. Well. Not the porn. But
the music.

By the way. There's a hammer in the wall.

c-c#-c-c#-c-c#-d-d#-d-d#-d# /
c-c#-c-c#-c-c#-d-d#-d-d#-d# /

Gallery Gärndöd will open soon stop Watch this
space for upcoming info stop Moulds Room will
play at the premiere stop
www.mouldsroom.com

Short notice ..............................III

God bless and goodbye.

Another night. Another hotel. Another room.
The rain keep falling down outside, and the
neon light from the hotel sign flickers a bit
above my balcony. It's like the wet, cold and
dark from the outside try to eat itself into
the hotel room... Drop. Drop. Drop. I can hear
the rain, but still its very calm.

A car rushes by and breaks the silence. The
walls inside the room have a long faded white
color. It's mostly nicotine yellow now. The
decorator really tried to make this very home-
like and warm lighted. But the night still
manages to take over. The soft carpet under my
naked feet feels soft but who knows what died
in it? -Anyway, its probably the carpet which
makes the room smell old and stuffed.

It really makes one think. While I lay on the
bed and stare into the ceeling (somehow it
seems to have been re-painted while the walls
hav'nt. Wonder why). Where is the next trip.
What is the next step? Who's next? What's
going to happen? And why...

My stomache pulls me out of bed. Sometimes
it has that influence over me and I take to
the streets. Looking for a place to eat. The
streets are virtually deserted let alone a
single person with a fuck'n dog. God this
place is depressing...

I think about running. Running. Running. 'til
my legs can't bare me no more. I want a place
warm, a place in the sun. A place with love
that's filled of fun with no worries at all.
Where I can feel the sand between my toes
instead of this hellish water trying to find
its way into my shoes...

God bless and goodbye! What a lovley life that
could be... One day. One day. One day...

new batch...................................IX

rutger.playcat.auto-auto.turncoat.moulds_room.
gallery.pub.bar.studio.publishing.exclusive...

premiere is forthcoming.invitations.will.be...
extended.watch.this.page.for.upcoming.info....

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